Choosing Our Friends

February 24, 2008

By Jeremy J. Main

     Friendship varies in degrees of familiarity. Thus we use the term friend accordingly. We might call people friends who are not hostile toward us. Perhaps we would describe people as friends who are of the same community, nation or organization as us. Friends may simply be our acquaintances, people we know. However, there are a valued few whom we fondly identify as our very close friends.

    What is friendship? Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem.” In the Greek New Testament, the most frequently used term for “friend” is philos. Thayer defined the term as “he who associates familiarly with one, a companion.”

    People influence us greatly, whether we want to admit it or not. In what way do our friends affect our morality? Do they sharpen or dull our character (c.f. Prov. 27:17)?  Be careful! Oh, you might say, I am strong and faithful. The company I keep will never corrupt me. Do not be deceived. “Evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Cor. 15:33 NKJV). It is for this reason that we ought to be particular when forming friendships. It is not wise to seek to establish friendships at any cost. When it comes to our souls, the cost is too great. Solomon wrote, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Prov. 12:26).

    Friends help and care for one another. The man of Decapolis helped his friends by telling them all that the Lord had done for him (Mark 5:18-20). Cornelius of Caesarea showed that he cared for his close friends, by calling them together to hear the word of God (Acts 10:1-2, 24, 47-48; 11:1). Today, you may talk with friends about the news, sports, hobbies, and other common interests. Do you speak about the gospel?

    Genuine friendship is both rare and precious. The Book of Proverbs provides us with a few ideal characteristics of genuine friendship. First, friendship is mutual. One-sidedness will sink friendship. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” (Prov. 27:17). If we truly wish to have good friends, we must first be good friends. Do you share in the good things of friendship? Second, friendship is constant. “A friend loves at all times” (Prov. 17:17). A true-blue friend continues to be a friend both in prosperity and adversity. He is not a fair-weather friend. “Do not forsake your own friend” (Prov. 27:10). Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends” (John 15:13). Third, friendship is sincere. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6). Flattery can make us feel good, but only for a time. Truth may hurt, but truth is best. Are you a superficial friend? Fourth, friendship is receptive. Good friends not only give good advice, but also listen to good advice. “Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man's friend gives delight by hearty counsel” (Prov. 27:9).

    Genuine friendship is important in both the physical and spiritual aspects of life. What type of friend are you? What kind of friends are your best friends? Be involved in friendship which is mutual, constant, sincere, and receptive.

Work Cited:

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. Merriam-Webster Incorporated, 2000.

Thayer, Joseph. Thayer’s Greek Definitions.